Now Selling: One Slightly Used Department of Justice (Holy Water Not Included)
Civil rights gutted, justice auctioned, and theocracy gift-wrapped in patriot drag—welcome to the new American inquisition.
1. The DOJ Yard Sale: Now Featuring Moral Bankruptcy at Discount Prices
How bad can it be?
The Civil Rights Division—yes, the one founded back in 1957 to protect Americans from systemic racism and voter suppression—has now been lovingly rebranded as the Office for the Prevention of Hurt Feelings Among Conservative Christians. Headed by Harmeet Dhillon, who recently told Glenn Beck that her job is to root out “anti-Christian bias,” “antisemitism,” and—wait for it—“woke ideology.”
Because nothing says “we take discrimination seriously” like replacing lawyers who protect voting rights with a human Twitter feed from 2016.
And what’s happening to the actual civil rights attorneys, you ask?
Well, 70% of them are resigning with pay until September. That’s not a workforce—it’s a hostage situation with HR paperwork.
2. The Sycophant Olympics: Cabinet Secretaries Grovel for Daddy’s Love
Trump’s Cabinet is staging its own version of “Survivor: Civil Rights Island.”
Every secretary is trying to out-patriot the last by telling Trump how many DEI programs they’ve throttled in their respective agencies.
The Secretary of Agriculture is bragging about canceling contracts that considered race.
The Secretary of Transportation is defunding any project that dares whisper the letters D-E-I.
The Secretary of Defense practically lit fireworks over Fort Benning and Fort Bragg returning to their Confederate cosplay names.
It’s not governance—it’s reverse affirmative action for racists.
3. Thou Shalt Obey: The Rise of State-Sponsored Faithfluff
At a prayer breakfast—because of course it was—Trump unveiled his plan to create a commission on “religious liberty,” which translates roughly to: we're protecting Christianity by bulldozing everything that isn't it.
We now have a federal task force—yes, a task force—to combat anti-Christian bias in government. It’s like they watched The Handmaid’s Tale and said, “But what if it had better branding?”
And leading this theological revolution? Pam Bondi, known primarily for her legal analysis on cable news and her unwavering devotion to Donald Trump. If she had a flaming sword, she’d be on the steps of the DOJ right now, smiting the ghost of Thurgood Marshall.
4. Mission Creep: When “Religious Liberty” Becomes State Religion Lite
This isn’t about defending religion. It’s about replacing pluralism with Christian dominion politics—where freedom only applies to people who vote the right way, look the right way, and pray the right way.
The goal isn’t tolerance. It’s hierarchy.
And in this new hierarchy, civil rights aren’t sacred. They’re optional.
Justice isn’t blind. It’s wearing a clerical collar and handing out tax exemptions to bigotry.
5. Policy by Exorcism: Harvard, Refugees, and the Ghost of the Great Society
Trump’s people are threatening Harvard’s research funding unless it drops DEI.
They’re slamming the door on refugees—unless, of course, they’re white South Africans claiming “reverse racism.”
This isn’t policy—it’s a purification ritual. And if it burns down the legacy of the Great Society while they’re at it? All the better.
They’re not just dismantling the New Deal or the Great Society—they’re salt-the-earth killing it, right down to Head Start and Pell Grants. They want to rebuild the country in the image of a 1950s Coca-Cola ad with better surveillance.
6. Theocracy on Training Wheels: Powered by Grievance, Funded by You
Let’s not kid ourselves. This is not some principled conservative course correction.
It’s theocratic cosplay, funded by taxpayer dollars, written by Heritage Foundation interns, and sold to voters as the Second Coming wrapped in a flag.
They don’t want religious liberty. They want religious supremacy—their religion, their rules, your silence.
7. Final Sale: Democracy—Some Scratches, Needs Repair, Comes As-Is
So yeah. Welcome to the sale.
The DOJ is up for grabs.
And if you act now, we’ll throw in a complimentary cross, a DEI bonfire kit, and a voter suppression roadmap—absolutely free.
But just remember: all sales are final.
No returns.
No justice.
Further Reading:
Democracy at a Crossroads: How to Stop the Slide Toward Tyranny
How Post-Election Lawsuits Are Throwing Out Legitimate Votes
This Is Not a Campaign. This Is a Constitutional Emergency
Sources
The Washington Post (April 28, 2025). “Trump’s DOJ Reorients Civil Rights Division to Combat ‘Anti-Christian Bias.’” Reporting on Harmeet Dhillon’s redirection of the Civil Rights Division away from racial justice enforcement.
The Guardian (May 1, 2025). “Mass Resignations Hit DOJ Civil Rights Division Amid Political Shift.” Documentation of mass staff departures following the department’s ideological realignment.
CNN (April 2025). “Cabinet Meeting Highlights Administration’s Push to Eliminate Diversity Policies.” Summary of Trump administration officials openly celebrating the dismantling of DEI programs.
Politico (April 25, 2025). “Trump Officials Boast About Ending DEI in Government.” Transcript excerpts from Brooke Rollins, Sean Duffy, and Pete Hegseth.
U.S. Department of Justice (April 2025). Official press release announcing the formation of a federal task force to combat anti-Christian bias, led by Attorney General Pam Bondi.
CNN (April 2025). Coverage of President Trump’s prayer breakfast speech, announcing a new executive order to form a religious liberty commission.
Interfaith Alliance (April 2025). Public statement by Rev. Paul Brandeis Raushenbush critiquing the administration’s weaponization of religion and rise of Christian nationalism.
Reuters (April 25, 2025). “Trump Administration Targets Harvard, Threatens Research Funding Over DEI.” Analysis of federal pressure campaigns against elite universities.
The Chronicle of Higher Education (April 2025). “Universities Under Pressure to Drop Equity Programs.” Reporting on funding threats tied to DEI policies across public and private institutions.
The New York Times (April 2025). “White South Africans Accepted While Refugees Blocked at Border.” Analysis of racially selective immigration enforcement.
NBC News (April 2025). “Critics Say Refugee Policy Echoes Apartheid-Era Rhetoric.” Background on shifting refugee priorities under the Trump administration.
CNN (April 2025). Interview with presidential historian Mark Updegrove, who likens the rollback of civil rights to the post-Reconstruction rise of Jim Crow.
The Atlantic (May 2025). “Is This the End of the Great Society?” Longform analysis on the dismantling of civil rights legislation and federal social protections.
Brookings Institution (March 2025). Policy report detailing budgetary and legislative moves aimed at reversing civil rights-era advancements, including Pell Grants and Medicaid.