Listen now | What gives life meaning after leaving church? A thoughtful reflection on purpose, morality, & building a meaningful life w/o religious certainty.
Thank you, Dino. Your words, written or spoken, engage my interest. Nearing the end years of my life, I am struggling to find where I belong, spiritually. My conundrum while I listened to your words was, what about forgiveness? Massive anxiety 😉 arises when I struggle to figure out who I am talking to in my mind when I search for the way to live in each day. Many times I feel the need for forgiveness. Well. That’s my dilemma, not yours. You’ve given me much to grapple with today. You are always interesting, I will say that. Be well. 🤩🙌🙏💕
Sandra, thank you for trusting me with something so personal.
Before I respond, let me say something plainly. I’m not a theologian or a spiritual authority. I’m just a layperson who has spent a lifetime asking many of the same questions you’re asking now. When your comment arrived, I felt the need to share it with a confidant of mine who has traveled further down the spiritual road than I have. He spent time in seminary years ago and, at one point in his life, even felt compelled to travel to Tibet in search of deeper understanding. Between the two of us, I’d like to offer a few thoughts on the question you raised.
You spoke about forgiveness, and how the search for it can stir up anxiety. That response is deeply human. When the noise of younger years quiets, many of us begin to look back over our lives with clearer eyes. We remember the moments we wish we’d handled differently, the words we wish we could call back, the places where we know we fell short of the person we hoped to be.
My friend said something simple that stayed with me. He said the word forgiveness often gets tangled because people think it always has to move vertically, between a person and God. In many faith traditions it does move that way, and for those who believe, that relationship can bring great peace.
But he also reminded me that forgiveness has another direction as well. It moves inward.
Every human being carries a quiet place inside, what some call the soul, others call conscience. It is the place where we know, without needing anyone to tell us, when we have done right and when we have done wrong.
That inner voice does not exist to torment us. It exists to guide us.
When we listen honestly, two things usually follow. First comes acknowledgment. We admit where we were wrong without dressing it up or explaining it away. Then comes the harder step. We try to live the next day a little better than the one before.
That rhythm is older than any one religion. It’s the rhythm of moral life itself.
Forgiveness, in that sense, is not only something granted from outside us. It is something that grows within us when we face the truth about ourselves and still choose to keep walking forward with humility.
My friend put it this way, and I thought it was wise: if there is a sacred presence in the universe, it likely cares less about the perfection of our past than the honesty of our present.
And if someone isn’t sure what they believe about God, the work remains the same. We try to become kinder, wiser, and more truthful with the time that remains.
You asked who you are speaking to in your mind when you search each day for the right way to live.
It may simply be the oldest companion any of us ever have.
Your own conscience.
And the fact that you are still listening to it says something very good about the person you are.
Thank you, Dino. Your words, written or spoken, engage my interest. Nearing the end years of my life, I am struggling to find where I belong, spiritually. My conundrum while I listened to your words was, what about forgiveness? Massive anxiety 😉 arises when I struggle to figure out who I am talking to in my mind when I search for the way to live in each day. Many times I feel the need for forgiveness. Well. That’s my dilemma, not yours. You’ve given me much to grapple with today. You are always interesting, I will say that. Be well. 🤩🙌🙏💕
Sandra, I hope my words are always of some help, if only a kind of salve. Perhaps I’ll think on forgiveness and come back to this tomorrow.
Sandra, thank you for trusting me with something so personal.
Before I respond, let me say something plainly. I’m not a theologian or a spiritual authority. I’m just a layperson who has spent a lifetime asking many of the same questions you’re asking now. When your comment arrived, I felt the need to share it with a confidant of mine who has traveled further down the spiritual road than I have. He spent time in seminary years ago and, at one point in his life, even felt compelled to travel to Tibet in search of deeper understanding. Between the two of us, I’d like to offer a few thoughts on the question you raised.
You spoke about forgiveness, and how the search for it can stir up anxiety. That response is deeply human. When the noise of younger years quiets, many of us begin to look back over our lives with clearer eyes. We remember the moments we wish we’d handled differently, the words we wish we could call back, the places where we know we fell short of the person we hoped to be.
My friend said something simple that stayed with me. He said the word forgiveness often gets tangled because people think it always has to move vertically, between a person and God. In many faith traditions it does move that way, and for those who believe, that relationship can bring great peace.
But he also reminded me that forgiveness has another direction as well. It moves inward.
Every human being carries a quiet place inside, what some call the soul, others call conscience. It is the place where we know, without needing anyone to tell us, when we have done right and when we have done wrong.
That inner voice does not exist to torment us. It exists to guide us.
When we listen honestly, two things usually follow. First comes acknowledgment. We admit where we were wrong without dressing it up or explaining it away. Then comes the harder step. We try to live the next day a little better than the one before.
That rhythm is older than any one religion. It’s the rhythm of moral life itself.
Forgiveness, in that sense, is not only something granted from outside us. It is something that grows within us when we face the truth about ourselves and still choose to keep walking forward with humility.
My friend put it this way, and I thought it was wise: if there is a sacred presence in the universe, it likely cares less about the perfection of our past than the honesty of our present.
And if someone isn’t sure what they believe about God, the work remains the same. We try to become kinder, wiser, and more truthful with the time that remains.
You asked who you are speaking to in your mind when you search each day for the right way to live.
It may simply be the oldest companion any of us ever have.
Your own conscience.
And the fact that you are still listening to it says something very good about the person you are.